Dante Didn't Get It

Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights, I work 3rd shift at Arby's to bring in some extra cash.

The Arby's I work at is attached to a "One Stop" convenient store/gas station.


Last Saturday, I went over to the store to get some Lotto Tickets. That's when I first saw the new guy getting trained to work thirds there.


And I swear to the gawds, he looks exactly like Dante Hicks from the Clerks movies.


I went back over to Arby's and the boss and I had a good laugh about the similarities.


The other night, I went in for my Thursday shift. "Dante" was working over at the gas station, which was odd, cause Nancy usually worked thirds on Thursdays.


I decided to have a little fun.



I went over to him and told him to say "I'm not even supposed to be here today."


He said, "How did you know I got called in."


I said, " Since Nancy wasn't here, I just kinda figured, anyway say it."

He says, "Ok. I'm not supposed to be here today."


But he didn't say it in that whiny pitch...but you take what you can get I guess.


Later on, I walk back to the drinks and yell out to him, "Hey man, let me get a Gatorade!"

He says, "You have to pay for it."

I say, "No. You have to say 'If I give you a Gatorade, then I have to give everybody a Gatorade."


He says, "But you are the only one in here."

I say. "Never mind."



Later, I go up to the counter and ask him if he has a girlfriend.

He says yes.



I ask him, "Did she suck 37 dicks?"


He then takes a swing at me.


Thanks to my cat-like reflexes, I ninja dodge out of the way.

He yells, "Don't be talking shit about my girlfriend!"


I say, "Don't you get it dude? This is all from Clerks. You've seen it."

He says, "No, I haven't."

I say, "You mean to tell me, that you work in a convenient store, you look like Dante Hicks, and you've never seen Clerks."

He says, "That's right".

I say, "That's pathetic dude. Give me your girl's address. I go over there and give her number 38."

He then attempts to jump over the counter. However, he gets his foot caught on the ledge and falls face first to the floor.

I laughed and went back to work.



Last night, when I went in, I found out the owner of the convenient store saw the tape of him trying to punch me and him trying to bad ass bounce over the counter. He got canned.


And he wasn't even supposed to be there that day.