Fired

Some of you people would say I've had this coming, and you may be right, but my firing yesterday was uncalled for. And believe you me, I will be fighting it.

For one thing, the incident happened while I was on my break.

This happened at the fast food joint I part time at.


I go on break and decide to take my lunch out in the lobby. I sat down at a table by one of the windows.

As I'm sitting there, I see a car drive by. As it passed my window, the driver flicked a out a cigarette.

The cigarette happened to land in one of the bushes that are planted all along the windows. A nice neat row of them.

As I sat there eating, I noticed some smoke starting to rise from the bush. I really didn't think anything about.

Until I saw some flames.

The bush had caught on fire.


I took another bite of my sandwich as I watched the bush burn. Soon enough, the bush next to it caught fire as well.


Nothing like a good show to watch while you're eating.

I took a look at my watch and started to keep track on how fast these bushes were catching fire. I took a look around and made sure to map out my exit strategy..just in case the building should happen to go up in flames as well.

And let's be honest, I was kinda hoping that would be the case.


I was almost finished with my lunch by the time the whole row of bushes had caught fire. Finally somebody else had noticed what was happening.

They shouted out, "Holy crap, it's on fire!"

I silently applauded his skills of observation. Moments later, two of my coworkers ran out, dumping buckets of water onto the fire.

My boos had come running up beside me, she was talking on the phone with the fire department. When she was done talking to them, she turned to me.

She said, "what have you been doing this whole time the bushes were on fire?"

I said, "Eating my lunch."

She asked, "And you didn't think of telling anybody?"

I said, "I would have, but I'm on break."

Then she spouts out, "Not only did you put the store in jeopardy, you put all of our lives in jeopardy."

I replied, "Look, it's not like I started the fire. I can assure you, if I had, I would have made sure to tie you all up first."


Half an hour later, after the firetrucks left, she had my termination papers written up.

I refused to sign them.

Bipolar Disorder

When you work a crappy job, you pretty much have to subscribe to the reality that during those hours you are working, you are no longer "alive". You are just a zombie.





Especially if you work in public service.





But during those hours, you are always on the lookout for something to latch onto, something that will remind you that there is something to live for outside of the hell you were hired onto.



Whether it be mundane conversations with coworkers you would not normally hang out with, or oogling the fine ladies that come into your store. Any hint of something better than you current position is a welcome.



This goes double when you are on the lookout to find a new lady to bring into your life.





Such was the case with me not too long ago.





A new girl was hired on to work the night shifts, which I happen to be a manage on some nights. When I saw her, it was like a breath of fresh air. Some real eye candy this one was. Which was a much welcome relief, because the women I have been working with made me start to wonder f nature had introduced the beasts to quell the human population. Yes, they are that ugly.





Anyway, after working a couple of days with this girl, I got to know her a little better. Nice attitude, got along with everybody.



After a few days, I decided to make my move.



I went up to her, and said, "Hey, if you're not doing anything after work tonight, you want to go grab a bite to eat with me?"





She blushed a little and said she would have to think about it.



That's fine. A couple hours passed and I decided to ask her again.



This time I got a completely different reaction.



I asked her, "Have you thought about it yet?"



Her face got deep red...and not from blushing.



She screamed out, "Why do you keep bugging me about this? Huh? Why don't you just leave me alone and quit harassing me!



Now, she screamed this out so loud, everybody, and I do mean everybody, in the store is looking at us. I just stood there, like a deer in headlights, I didn't know what to do or say. Her reaction had caught me completely off guard. After I recovered from my frozen state, I quickly walked away from her.



I had never been so embarrassed in my life.



And that's not something I easily forgive.





I pulled one of the workers into the manager's office.



I said to him, "Mark, what the hell is the deal with that psycho bitch?"



Mark said, "I don't know, but I'll find out for you."



He left the office and I sat in there deciding what to do next. Not only was I turned down for a date, but she also metaphorically castrated me in front of everybody. I had to deal with this bitch, had to get rid of her somehow.



A few minutes later, Mark came back into the office.



Mark said, "Well, you won't believe this, she's bipolar."





A light bulb went off in my head.





The next morning, I had a little chat with my boss, who told me that I should come to him if I had any problems with my employees on the night shift.





This is what I said to him, "I have some concerns with the new girl. Last night, I had asked her to do something. Later on when I asked her about it again, she blew up in my face. I come to find out she has this bipolar disorder. So, you see my concern about her being around the customers."



The boss said he was afraid that this might happen and he told me he would deal with it. And he did.



He canned her Norman Bates ass.