That's right.
I found out last week. The girl I have been seeing of and on for the past couple of months gave me the news after she took a preggo test.
I didn't want to say anything until I worked some things out.
If things work out the way they should, then this kid is going to be very good news. I'm going to be very happy to be a father.
Annie, however, isn't exactly thrilled. Her parents are very religious and they won't be to happy to hear she's going to have a kid out of wedlock. But, on the other hand she says, they keep dropping hints that they want her to settle down with somebody and start a family.
That would be all and good for me I guess, but her father hates me. But, Annie is "Daddy's Little Girl" and he puts up with the fact that I'm her boyfriend.
So, Annie hasn't told them yet about the pregnancy. She wants to wait until we've had time to talk about where our relationship would be headed if we start a family. She wants to tell them when she knows her future with me is secure.
I had other plans.
Yesterday, I went and visited her dad. Her father, his name is Bill, is the owner of a the predominant car dealership here in town. He is a very rich man.
I stepped into his office and took a seat.
Me: Hello Bill. I got your daughter pregnant.
Bill: Excuse me.
Me: I knocked Annie up.
He did his very best to keep a straight face, but I could tell he wanted to yell and rip me apart.
Bill: She hasn't told me this yet.
Me: She wants to wait. She knows you'd be angry.
Bill: So how come you are telling me.
Me: I thought you had the right to know.
Bill: I see. I guess I should thank you. Have you come to ask for my permission to marry her?
Me: God no. Why would I want to do that?
Bill: Let me explain something to you son, I happen to believe in strong family values. It's something my family has always had. I believe it's a concept you need to adopt.
Me: Family values huh? There something else that you have, something I enjoy very much. Other than your daughter that is. And that's money.
Bill: What about it?
Me: You have it and I want it. I want ten thousand dollars.
Bill: And what makes you think I'm going to hand this money over to you?
Me: You want Annie and your grandchild's life to be a good one, right?
Bill: If you want this money to provide for Annie and her baby, then I'll just give her the money myself.
Me: Uh, no. You'll give me the money.
Bill: How's that?
Me: You and your wife want to be grandparents, correct?
Bill: Yes, it's something we are looking forward too.
Me: How would you like it if you never get to see this baby?
Bill actually laughed at this.
Bill: If, on the off chance you and Annie stay together, she wouldn't dare do anything to stop me from seeing the child. And when you two split up, I guarantee you she'll have full custody.
Me: Full custody of what?
Bill: Her child, of course.
Me: I'm sorry if you misunderstood me, Bill. If you don't give me that money, there ain't going to be a grandchild.
Bill: What?
Me: If I don't get the money, I'll make Annie get an abortion.
Bill: She would never go through with that.
Me: Oh really? If I tell her I'm not ready to be a father and there's no way I can be a part of the baby's life, she's going down to a clinic and getting scraped. And she's never going to let you know about it. She told me herself.
Bill just sat there, furious.
Me: Listen, you got two months to decide. If you want to hold this child in your arms, then cough up the money. Otherwise, I suggest you get down to the clinic before the doctor dumps the baby into the trashcan.
And with that, I got up and left the office.
So, I might be jumping the gun on this announcement, but here's hoping.
Wish me luck.
