Se7en

My sister and her husband decided they were going to Vegas on a 3 day weekend. They left their kid with me. Which I didn't mind, cause I was getting paid.

Anyway, my nephew is just like his mother. Obese.

Now, I don't have a problem with that. As long as it doesn't affect me, I don't care what kind of lifestyle you have.

My nephew was a pretty obedient kid, I told him he could have whatever he wanted out of my fridge, as long as he asked me if it was ok first.


Saturday night, about 3 am, I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. I decided to watch the Zodiac Documentary on the new Zodiac DVD.

After I started watching it, I got hungry. I decided I wanted to snack on some of the microwave burritos I bought.

I looked in my freezer and they weren't there.

I snuck into my guest bedroom where my nephew was sleeping, and sure enough, all six burrito wrappers were stuffed in the trash can.

I was livid. I thought about waking him and beating the crap out of him right there, but I thought back on the Zodiac movie and director David Finch.

I had a better idea.

Sunday.

I asked my nephew if he wanted to watch a movie. He said yes.

I popped in Se7en.

I told him, "By the way Josh, this is based on a true story."

He asked me what it was about. I told him it was about a guy who kills people based on the seven deadly sins.

When the movie got to the Gluttony killing, I turned to my nephew and said, "Look Josh. The man kills fat people because eating too much is a sin. Now, if you want to end up like that whale there with his face down in his soup, go ahead and steal more food from me."


He watched the rest of the movie with a look of true terror on his face.

I was pleased.